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P D's avatar

I appreciate your resolve, and I appreciate the response you left for me last time. I'd appreciate if you responded again.

Today my parents were watching a nature documentary narrated by Obama. They remarked how they miss having him as president and how Trump ruined this country with his judges.

I miss the way things used to be. Back when I didn't watch the news. Back when Obama was president and I could be proud of my country. Back when I woke up and did fun things with my friends without worrying about current events. Back when our rights as human beings were guaranteed and I didn't spend all day obsessively looking at the news to make sure my safety as a gay person is safe. If they overrule Lawrence V Texas, I could be sent to prison like the Jews were in Hitler's time. So I feel like I have to watch for any indication that I have to flee the country. I feel threatened, so I spend all day doomscrolling hoping for any sign of hope for the future. Every article feels like doom and gloom.

I feel trapped in what feels like a right wing country where regular people are powerless to the billionaires, Christians, and brainwashed masses. I feel like I'm developing depression and helplessness. The idea that I can never go back to the way life used to be and that I'm stuck watching the slow motion collapse of our country makes life feel like a chore to get through. I can't even take pleasure in the simple things, knowing that everything I value and principle is uncertain. I have been on the verge of tears all day thinking about how Republicans could make it impossible for Democrats to win and I'll spend the rest of my life hiding in fear.

I don't know how to cope with this all. I'm seeing another therapist next week. I can't take this despair anymore. I know other people are able to enjoy their lives despite their worries, but every time I try to enjoy life, I think about the dark future that is coming and I feel depressed. It feels like I have a terminal illness. I hope my therapist can help, and I hope that someday this country learns to be kind again.

Lynn's avatar

The actual leak of the draft opinion is indeed not concerning as compared to the actual intentions of this SCOTUS in eroding a woman's rights- except for the fact that Chief Justice Roberts has called for an investigation of this, all the while refusing to investigate a sitting Justice's wife as she plotted to overthrow the government. We must stay fully engaged in this fight. We have a lot of work to do.

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